Little Kid

Little Kid

    《You know... There is a little kid slumbering inside of my soul... He is now awake and screaming in pain, and I kept ignoring him... Now his voice is so loud I can’t even go on with my life anymore...

    This little kid have a long story, all I did was finding quick and dirty fixes for happiness, and he wasn’t satisfied with those, they were partial and short, they were not enough... All he ever wanted was just some affection, all he ever wanted was the feeling of being loved and taken care of…

    But please tell me little kid ? How can I silence your screams ? Who on this earth can give you enough affection ? Who will take care of us ? We are 27 years old... We gotta take care of ourselves...

    And if you want love... Believe me ! You are never going to be satisfied with the love of nowadays... Superficial and hypocrite caring, “taking” more than “giving”, that’s all the affection we are gonna get…

    Sometimes, I wish I was dead... I mourn and cry about my dead friends and relatives... But the ones who should be cried upon is us little kid ! The dead are the lucky ones... Spared from the worry of the future...

    Little kid... We are fighting a fight lost in advance, nobody is seeing this kind heart behind our tired eyes... They only see our darkest side, because we made the mistake of showing it, in times of weakness...

    Little kid, we are alone you and me... All we asked for was some place to call home... We are homeless... Trying desperate things for quick shots of joy... Easily gone... And the despair is back !

    Little kid... I love you ! We have only each other as support, but please don't feel lonely... Because I do... And it hurts... The pain is so excruciating I think sometimes about relieving myself by ending my life... But that does not help... Never think about that little kid !

    Little kid… Where is home ? We only run away to each other as refuge, but please don’t feel ignored… Because I do… And it made me abandon hope… I became so desperate I tried to alter my mind with the most weird of trash… But that only made things worse… Never try to do that little kid !

    Little kid, love is an art... Where are you going to find an artist who doesn’t sell his art as merchandise ? We are the last artists of a lost age... An old age where love was the only reason... This age was your dream little kid... And mine too... But alas, it’s nowhere to be found !

    Little kid I'm sorry, but you're not the only one crying, I am too, my sobs are just silent… Nobody will hear us, and even if they do, they will not help, and even if they do help, they will not last... People get tired little kid... People get bored...

    Little kid, in this absolute despair there is no salvation, don't wait for it, it's not gonna come... Just learn to live with it ! Little kid, grow up, become a man, you're still young... So young... Don't ruin your youth by seeking trivial things such as a place to call home or someone to love you... Those things require luck and it seems we don't have enough, if not at all...

    I will be the one to love you and you will be my home... Let’s lie to each other you and me and pretend we are happy, I will be the actor of the last stage play of my life... Let’s sing together the song of our destroyed dream and pretend we didn’t need it,  I will be the composer of the ultimate sonata of my ragged heart, or what remains of it... Let it resonate after my death... Maybe, just maybe, someone will be touched by it and respond, in a far future when people expand their minds... And our dream age will come… To our children if one day we decide to make some...

    In the meantime, abandon all hope and finish your days pretending to be allright and lying about your peace, people love to hear that, they’re annoyed by artists and get easily bored by them, people want money and going out, they don’t care about distressed children like you... We have no place in this world you and me... I love you little kid ! I will be the one to take care of you...

    Why shall we pretend ? Because people need to be sedated... They want to numb the pain they feel inside with fake smiles and false stories... They want to pretend they are allright, it gives them some kind of euphoria to feel superior and to show off their money and possessions,      it's like a race, a race for which one have more “things” than the others… A race for which one lies the most about his “made-up happiness” and “hidden despair”...

    Poetry ? Music ? Painting ? Love ? Art ? Ha ha ha ha... Those are concepts too complicated for this material, indoctrinated and surface-minded society, they only see them as entertainment... Oh yes little kid ! Poetry as entertainment... This is how low our world have become !!! And you were waiting for hope ?

    Smile little kid... Smile and go play ! That's what little kids do, right ? They smile and play games... Or was life so hard on you you grew up early ? Don't you have a childhood to catch up ? Go to the streets ! Play until you're tired, you will then sleep well...》

-  (M. K. IBN HADJ KACEM)

=> Thursday, September 15th 2016